


Goodbye

by Quadratur



Category: Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: Character Death, Goodbyes, Grief/Mourning, Loss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-29
Updated: 2012-05-29
Packaged: 2017-11-06 05:52:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/415462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quadratur/pseuds/Quadratur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After New York is safe once again, there's something Clint has to do.</p>
<p>Please head the warnings. Contains spoilers for The Avengers-movie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Written for foxxcub's kissing-meme. Slightly revised. All remaining errors are mine.

Dead people never look as if they are asleep, they just looked dead. Whoever came up with that crap had clearly never seen someone who was actually dead. 

Clint frowns down at the body and sighs. He hates the morgue, the silence, the smells, the sterility, the gleaming metal, but even more than that he hates the chain of events that led to his presence down here. 

"I'm sorry," he whispers, knowing that it's not enough, that it will be never enough because it were his own actions, his training, those abilities he's so proud off and often boasted about, that led to this. "I'll try to do better. I'll make you proud of me. Somehow, I'll find a way." 

Biting his lips, Clint swallows hard. He can't cry, refuses to because he doesn't have the right, doesn't deserve to mourn. Not like the others. "I'll do my best to make it work, the Avengers. This crazy idea of yours and Fury. I swear. Whatever it takes until..." 

He tapers off. He never really believed in God or any kind of afterlife and somehow meeting actual gods has only confirmed his belief, but he still hopes that somehow, someday he'll see Phil again. Will be able to apologize, beg forgiveness. 

Clint looks down at the body and it's only a body, gray and lifeless. All the things that made it Phil are gone. 

Leaning down, he presses his lips against - Phil's - the body's forehead. It doesn't even smell like Phil anymore, just sharp chemicals that hide the first hints of decay. With a rough sound Clint turns away and leaves, storming out of the room. 

He isn't really surprised when he finds Natasha waiting for him outside and doesn't say anything when she just looks at him and then draws him into an embrace and presses her lips against his cheek. He can only think that he didn't kiss Phil that last morning. Will never kiss him again. Or get kissed by him. Never again.


End file.
